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So you’ve opted to rent property and have finally found the right one for you, now for the multitude of possible landlords you’re going to deal with for the coming months or years.
Our team at Frank Salt Real Estate – leading, independent estate agency in Malta – shares our pick of celebrities and fictional characters we think would make great landlords and a few that would leave much to be desired!
Simon Cowell
The Blunt
Don’t expect any unnecessary niceties or small talk, but provided you don’t get in his bad books, you should be fine. You dare ask for a kettle, only to get a dry “It’s a no from me.”
One possible benefit to having Cowell as your landlord is the doors he could open for you. Just casually belt out a tune while walking to the door to open for him when he comes to inspect the space, and you might find yourself on the X Factor stage. At worst, you’ll know exactly where you stand in the talent pool.
Crocodile Dundee
The Brave
For that time a bug makes your home his home. You spot it from the corner of your eyes. You freeze. You yelp (not too loudly – you wouldn’t want to startle the little bugger into bursting into flight). You’ve already visualised a night of no sleep. It is at that point that you remember who your landlord is – none other than Crocodile Dundee. If he’s not afraid of the crocs, he definitely won’t be fazed by a little roach. You don’t want it killed, just out of your property. The little buggers don’t even pay rent.
Oprah
The Nurturing
The drains are playing up again, so you find a minute to call your landlord, Oprah to inform her about the issue. She comes over immediately, sits you down on the couch and asks you about your childhood over a hot chocolate she’s brought over. She’d probably even throw in a free hamper and a plant to welcome you to your new abode. Lucky you.
Gordon Ramsay
The Intimidating
Asking for a new pillow is asking for a series of colourful expletives to be thrown at you. You suffer from intense stomach aches five days leading up to the inspection/rent pick-up date monthly. Think twice before opening your mouth unless absolutely necessary and make sure the skin under your feet isn’t too exfoliated so the eggshells you have to walk on don’t hurt too much.
Harry Potter
The Dream
Probably the best landlord you could ever wish for. Having spent his first few years sleeping in a cupboard under the stairs in the Dursley residence, there are few other landlords that would sympathise with any inconvenience you’re faced with while in his property than Harry Potter. The age-old joke “How many men does it take to change a light bulb?” will become obsolete – for you, at least. A “Lumos!”, instead of having to change the light bulbs, will suffice and a simple “Alohomora” should do the trick to unlock the door for that time you rushed out and forgot your keys inside.
Looking to rent property?
Whether you’re looking to rent property or find the right tenants to inhabit yours, we at Frank Salt Real Estate are experienced in dealing with anything to do with rentals in Malta. We also offer property management services to alleviate property owners from the burden of having to be available around the clock.
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